What if it all goes right?
It's the question we rarely ask, what if it all goes right? Following my last blog on presupposing failure, I thought it would be good to follow up one on presupposing success. We seem to live in a society that encourages us to imagine the worst. And while forewarned is forearmed, it can cause us to become really unstuck when things go surprisingly well.
Have you ever noticed that people tend to expect things to go badly? Often, without any conscious prompting, our minds automatically jump to and focus on the worst possible scenarios. You will have known that feeling at some point in your life, you send a text message or email to someone and they don't respond as quickly as expected. You start to wonder if you worded it ok. Have you offended them? Has something changed? Is everything ok?
It's natural, sensible even, to want to be prepared for all eventualities. Whenever we go into a situation of any significance we always like to ask ourselves "what if" so we can mentally prepare for what lies ahead. The problem is we tend to always ask what if it all goes wrong. The difficulty with this is that we risk creating a self-fulfilling expectation and 'talk up' the possibility of bad things happening. Furthermore, it can leave us completely stumped when things go unexpectedly well as I learnt my myself.
The job interview
I went for a job on the advice on a business contact and as I had been introduced to the company by someone I admire I wanted to make a good impression.
I did all usual preparation. I read all the books on CVs and interview techniques. I studied pages and pages of information on how to state your case, how to standout from the crowd, the mistakes to avoid and of course how to overcome particularly tricky interview questions.
I was READY, I had my answers noted down, I'd practised explaining my strengths, diplomatically outlining my weaknesses and I was ready for the toughest of The Apprentice-style interview grillings.
There was one thing I wasn't prepared for-success.
The group activity and competency exercise were pretty straight forward, all that remained was the interview. I was ready with my pre-prepared answers and was all psyched up for the grilling only to be told "You were recommended by someone we trust, my team like you, you can clearly do the job, you're in. Now, what do you want to ask us?"
I was totally wrong footed. I had been so prepared to have to argue my case I was completely stumped when I succeeded so easily. Looking back it shouldn't have been a surprise. I am good at what I do so success shouldn't have been a shock. It was what I had spend days preparing for after all.
Of course, I had prepared a few questions about the company and it's expectations but I hadn't prepared for the next steps in negotiations. I was expecting to be told "you'll hear from us in a few days".
I was thrown straight away into discussions on salary expectations and working conditions. There was wiggle room to discuss hours, availability. I was expecting "we'll call you" not a negotiation on what I wanted. Now I was thinking, "What do I want? What am I worth?" I was totally stumped.
As it happened, it all worked out in the end. As I say, I had prepared so I was able to give answers but could it have worked out better? Did I miss opportunities because I wasn't able to state what I really wanted? Did I even know what I really wanted? Did I look less professional or confident as a result? After that, I vowed never to let myself be in that position again.
I've seen other people do this at work, in relationships and in their general day to day life. We fear the worst to prepare but we rarely ask ourselves what if it goes right?
So the next time you find yourself thinking "what if it all goes wrong" try and spend an equal amount of time asking "what if it all goes right?" and see what happens. Let me know how it goes.
Have you ever been wrong-footed by unexpected success? Let me know you thoughts in the comments.
